The Madness Divine 4

Nar Shadda, also known as the Vertical City, The Smuggler’s Moon and Little Coruscant, was a mess of buildings and durasteel. Situated in the Y’Toub system it was a moon that orbited Nal Hutta, the Hutt’s home planet. When the Hutts took over occupation of Nal Hutta, thousands of years prior to the rise of the empire, they made the native species, the Evocii, their slaves and forced them into slave labour building up the Moon’s infrastructure until it because a place that rivalled Coruscant for importance in the trade routes. The Evocii built from the ground up, and soon space ports and fuelling stations reached high up into the atmosphere. In between these massive ports and docking stations the rest of the city grew as well, because along with the prosperity and industry came the beings who lived and worked, hoping to gain a little of the wealth the moon was quickly amassing. All of this changed when the main trade routes shifted and as quickly as it had risen in status so it soon fell in to a back water state and was abandoned by the Republic.

Shortly after this the Hutts aligned themselves with the Honourable Union of Desevro and Tion and for a while managed to regain some of its former prosperity but this ended with the Tionese War and Nal Shadda sank back into obscurity becoming a haven for smugglers and other underworld acts. Law and order had long since ceased to exist and crime flourished. It became snidely known as The Smuggler’s moon and in contrast to Coruscant’s gleaming, luxurious looks Nar Shadda slowly slipped in polluted, congested cities surrounded by urban decay.

There was no law on Nar Shadda. After the Republic had left it in favour of more convenient worlds along better trade routes the moon’s fortunes had turned to the seedy side and it had been left to its own devices in the area of government and law enforcement. The sectors were ruled by various crime syndicates and turf wars occurred frequently between these factions.

It was on Nar Shadda that the smuggler turned hero Han Solo first began his career working under such famous smugglers as Salla Zend and Shug Ninx. Names I knew by reputation only and whispers overheard while I had worked at Jabba’s palace as a dancer. Solo had done a lot of work for the Hutts smuggling spice and other valuable cargos and had been one of Jabba’s golden boys before he had been caught and boarded by an Imperial patrol and forced to ditch a cargo that was worth more than most people made in a year. After that Jabba had placed a sizeable bounty on Solo’s head which was how he had gotten involved in the Rebellion somehow.

I thought about all of this as I scrambled up ladders, across walkways and sky-lanes. At one time this moon had been beautiful but now it was a decrepit mess which smelled just as bad as it looked.

I squatted atop one of the gantry ways I had discovered and watched the flow of movement below me. The area I had ended up in was a warren of ally ways, streets, covered over passes and walkways. It never stopped moving and the air was constantly full of traffic which only added to the noise and the small that forever permeated the place. At any given time this madness was a distinct disadvantage but right now I thanked whatever gods were watching over me for the chaos because it made blending in that much easier. I sighed as I dropped down from my perch to the walkway below it and continued towards my goal.

In a round about manner I had made my way via some fairly long and unorthodox routes to get to the area where the Grish’min Inn was situated. It was easy to blend into the crowds and dressed as I was no one even gave me a second look. A few times I stopped, slipping into a store under the pretext of browsing, to stretch out with my force abilities and see if I could catch the scent of anyone following me but as far as I could tell I had shaken the man Jyrki had set to tail me. By the time I had reached the backside of the Grish’min Inn it was dusk, the sun’s light fading into a hideous canvas of violent reds and purples.

The building was as ugly as its history and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the story the waiter had told me coupled with my vision or if I was projecting my own fears on to it but I thought the Inn was also malevolent. I stood in the shadows and contemplated my next move. According to the city plans I had looked at there was a warren of small service tunnels which led under the buildings in this area, connecting one to the next making easier for city workers to address any issues that may occur with the infrastructure which was dodgy at best. The Evocii had created them while they were building upwards, it saved time on getting from one place to the next and no one had ever bothered to close them down afterwards because the underbelly of Nar Shadda was a place most sane beings never wanted to go.

I slipped into the Redbock Heights and tried to look as though I belonged there as I made my way through the lobby to the turbo lift. I went up three floors and got out alone and went to find the emergency stairs so that I could head down into the sub levels. Most people did not use the turbo lift to go down and I didn’t want anyone to remember seeing me head in that direction. The stairwell was badly lit and smelled of stale urine. I was grateful I had not chosen to stay in this particular hotel after all and wrinkled my nose as the stench increased the further down I went.

I stopped briefly to check with my data pad that I was still on the right track because none of the doors had any markings on them and several that I had tried has been locked. When I did find the right one, I was very relieved to find it unlocked and without an alarm. I slipped through it into a dirty looking service corridor and began to make my way down it to where the exit should have been.

For a long moment I stood staring at the thick durasteel door with its great lock and frowned. I used the force to see if I could discern if there were any sort of alarms attached to it but couldn’t find anything and it wasn’t as If I was particularly proficient this area of sneaking around anyway. With a shrug I withdrew my lightsaber, the one that had once been Jyrki’s from my satchel and used it to slice the lock open. The noise alarmed me in the quiet of the deserted hall and the stink from the melting duraplast and steel almost made me gag.

The lock, no match for the lightsaber’s blade, gave way and I nudged the door open with my foot. Careful not to touch the still red-hot durasteel I slid through the opening into a completely dark passage way. I looked back at the door, debating whether or not to seal it shut behind me then decided not to. This place had not been visited in a long time judging by how undisturbed the dust on the floor and the cobwebs all around me were and it was entirely possible that I would need an escape route.

I consulted my little data-pad to try and figure out where I was going. According to the plans I had this tunnel led under the Redbock heights to its neighbouring building, a somewhat run down apartment block, from there I would have to find my way across the main concourse to the Inn and then somehow get inside of it to find my father. I made a face. It was dark, somewhat damp and it smelled exceptionally bad, as though something had died here and been left to rot. I put my lightsaber away and pulled out the small pocket lamp I had brought with me. Its yellowish light was a small comfort in a place that was said to be inhabited by savage feral creatures.

Navaari was going to be so pissed when I didn’t show up at my hotel room at our agreed on meeting time and I was beginning to think that perhaps he had been right in his statement about chaining me to the bed to make me stay put. The hotel cleaning staff might have looked at me a little funny but at least I would not be here in this situation now. The smell and the darkness were getting to me. Ever since Mattri I had difficulty being in dark confined spaces and the stale air this tunnel held was not helping the growing sense of panic I was feeling. Just breathe. I heard my Bunduki master’s voice in my head. Easy for you to say, I thought but I did it anyway and began to navigate my way through the darkness to the next exit.

The next door was not locked but it squealed horribly when I opened it making me cringe. No one had come down this way in a while. The small corridor I found myself in lacked the stench of the first but was no less dirty. I scowled as I brushed away cobwebs from my face. According to the data pad I had to go up into the main building to get down to the exit that would lead me under the main concourse to the buildings across it. Essentially I was walking in a great big huge U shape. I sighed and continued, keeping my senses open for anyone following me but as far as I could tell I was completely alone. This was a part of the Corellian Sector that few people ever got to see and I was betting even fewer knew about it. I kept going until I found what I was looking for and stepped into the small service tunnel that would lead me to the building I really wanted to get into. It was a convoluted route and it was taking up way more time than I had thought it would. Navaari would know now that I had gone off on my own and he would be furious. I wasn’t sure what scared me more, this tunnel or his anger.

The thick durasteel door that led into the Grish’min Inn opened easily. Too easily, I thought, given the difficulty I had with the doors leading to the other service tunnels which I had entered earlier. It made me wary but I sensed no danger when I reached out with the force only a sense of sadness and a lingering sensation of violence. Given the story the waiter had told me that was not so surprising. There were a lot of old, unhappy ghosts here and they were not overly happy about being disturbed.

I switched off the small torch I had with me and placed my palm on the door as it began to swing shut, letting it close quietly. It held no memories for me, which I thought was a little odd. I had seen flashes from the a couple of the other doors, nothing significant, more small snapshots of tired city workers called in to fix something. I waited for a few moments in the dark trying to get a feel for this place. I searched with all of my senses for any sign of my father but if he was here I could not find him. I drew a deep breath, turned the little torch back on and continued along the small service corridor which was supposed to end up in the boiler room. The Inn felt the same way the Jedi Temple had, as though I were being watched by wary, malevolent spirits, it made the skin between my shoulder blades itch. It wasn’t a good sensation. I concentrated on my task, which was to find my father and tried to ignore the unease which was beginning to make me tense and jumpy.

After what felt like forever I found myself in the Inn’s old boiler room. I could only stare at the huge antique machinery in awe. It must have been built long before the Clone Wars had started it was so old looking. It was almost beautiful, the way ships engines were beautiful and for a few moments I lost myself to marvelling at it then, shaking myself out of my reverie, I made my way through the forest of pipes and valves to get to the other door, the one that I hoped would take me into the main corridor in the Inn’s basement.

I breathed a small sigh of relief as I left the boiler room behind and found myself in the basement proper. I shone my light around and took note of the place. It was in a sorry state. The walls were damp and any paint that had been on them had long flaked or peeled off. I could see the droppings of animals all over the floor and the stench of decay and rot was powerful. I found it hard to believe the owner of this place still paid for it and refused to let it be torn down or renovated, the place was a wreck.

I stopped to consult the blueprints I had to see if I could locate the large room in which the slave auctions had once been held but there was nothing listed on the plans I had. This didn’t really surprise me much; such a place would not have been well advertised and in the time the building had been drawn out and built there could have been substantial structural changes made. I felt a wave of despair wash over me and for a second I truly wondered what I was doing. How could I ever hope to find my father, best Jyrki’s men and live? It all seemed so hopeless. It was as if the melancholia of the building was seeping into my skin turning me into one of its sad ghosts forever trapped in this awful place.

I leaned with my back against the wall and scrubbed at my face with the palms of my hands. I was tired and coming here alone had, as usual, been a very bad idea but, I rationalised, it had to be done. Jyrki was my problem and what he had done to my father made me angry beyond belief. I could not ask anyone else to risk their lives to help me in this thing because it was my problem alone to deal with. It was easy to rationalise my stupidity in this manner but a small part of me knew I was wrong and going off alone would only serve to make things worse not better. Thrawn had been right, I was reckless but this was Jyrki's fault, forcing my hand and it made me furious.

I felt that thread of anger and used it to stave off the terrible sense of doom I was feeling. I could almost hear the various teachers I had had in my life telling me to buck up and get on with it, to stop feeling sorry for myself and use all the lessons I had been given to the best of my advantage. In the dark I made a face at these unseen nagging voices and pushed away from the wall to study the blue prints once again.

There are always clues, you just have to see them, Master Kjestyll had once told me so studied the plans again, looking for the unusual. I found it by looking at what was not there and once I saw it I shook my head at the simplicity of it all. A hidden space made to look as though it were part of the foundation. A room without windows, large enough to contain a lot of beings, near enough to allow the sound form the warning siren across the street to sound through and difficult to find. I traced the only possible rout to it on the data-reader, memorised it and then, slipping the reader away, began with more determination to get this over with. For a moment I considered turning back to find Navaari and get help but then decided against it. This was my fight and Jyrki was my problem, I just hoped he wouldn’t be my death as well.

The Madness Divine 3

The tap-caf was busy and I was glad I had been able to snag the small table outside all to myself. Situated in one of the Corellian Sector’s prime locations, The Jumping Nuna was perfect for people watching and had the added bonus of making the best Zabraki stim’caf around. I sat with the latest flimsiplast news magazine, pretending to read while sipping a ‘caf blend that was spicier than I had bargained for but nice all the same. To the casual observer I was nothing more than one of the billion inhabitants of Nar Shadda going about my daily business. To the man who was following me I was probably boring the hell out of him, which was my intent because if he was bored then he might not figure out what I was really doing.

I had spent the morning meandering with a purpose through the core of the Corellian Sector. The routes I took were convoluted and would, I hoped, appear random but they were anything but. I had a specific destination in mind that I didn’t want my ugly, short shadow to figure out. Around lunch time I decided to stop and get some food. Grabbing a bite to eat would give me time to sort through the plans Navaari and I had made the night before. Thinking about him made me smile, just knowing he was out there made me feel better even though we had agreed the night before that it would be to stay out of contact, no com-links or any other methods of communication because Jyrki wasn’t stupid and it would be a really bad thing for all concerned if he found out I was no longer alone.

It was pleasant to sit and it allowed me time to stretch out into the force side of thing to tag this man so that I could easily find him again, a little like finding the signature engine wake ships left behind. Unlike Jyrki, the man following me was not force sensitive or else he might have felt what I was up to. This was one of those rare times when I was grateful for my strange force gifts; they meant I did not have to keep looking at the man following me to know he was there. I wondered how long we would keep this dance up until something interesting happened because I was not the most patient person in the world and sooner or later this was going to end. It was making me cross.

I was a little surprised, at first, that Jyrki had hired this guy of the job, he seemed nervous and out of his depth but then as I observed him better I saw this was all a ruse. Like Lorano Dek this man was a pro and equally as dangerous. While Jyrki may not have known the extent to which I had trained and become far better at the art of combat or the craft of using this unwanted power of mine he was not about to underestimate me, at least not as much as I would wish for. So I waited, playing jax and mouse with the ugly man. I had an end goal in mind but, as Navaari had said, it must be played out subtly.

“You must become the hunter not the hunted.” Navaari had said. “Lead him without him knowing you are doing it. He is the one following you. He is not the one in charge.”

From watching and listening to the holo recording Jyrki had made of my father for me as proof of life, I had managed to puzzle out, along with Navaari’s help, that he was being held somewhere fairly close to The Burning Deck. Jyrki had been careless and there had been a very distinctive warning siren that could be heard clearly in the background sound of recording. I had heard it several times while sitting in the cantina both times I had been there and when I mentioned that to Navaari he made a call to the cantina to ask what it was.

“The very nice bartender informed me that this sound you are hearing is the warning siren for the Redbock Heights Hotel’s shuttle bay which is situated on the lower south side of the hotel. She tells me they have complained about it but the hotel insists it is necessary for its customers as well as the pedestrians who walk there. Apparently when the shuttle Bay door opens the pedestrian concourse also raises. When this happens, she said there was a second less annoying alarm that goes off for that.”

We had watched the recording again, boosting the sound, listening for the sirens as well as anything else.

“I can’t hear the second alarm or any mechanicals lifting the concourse.” I had said.

“Perhaps the room is too well sound proofed for that. But it is a beginning, now we are knowing the area of the place this man has your father.” Navaari had said. “So, we study the images again and find more signs.”

The room my father was in, as far as I had been able to see from the recording, was small and had no windows on any of walls that had been shown. The light in the room was dim and completely artificial. All the shadows indicated a single light source, leading us to think that there were no windows at all which meant the room was either in the middle of a building, not very likely given the area which was all cafes, cantinas or hotels, or it was a part of an area no longer well used like a basement or subbasement.

Its sparseness had reminded me sharply of a utility room except it was far too large for that, and given the lack of furniture, junk or usable fixtures in the room, as far as we could see; I surmised that it was a place no one had been in a long time. Empty rooms on Nar Shadda were rare, space was at a premium, especially in the Corellian District, so this room had to be in a building that was either no longer used which meant condemned to be demolished or it was in one of the subbasements of one of the hotels. Because of the clarity of the warning Claxton it had to be very near the Redbock Heights Hotel, probably on the same side which narrowed down the field a lot.

After looking at a grid map and a tourist guide to this part of town Navaari and I had come up with three possible places. Now I wanted to check these places out. I had one day to figure this out before I had to meet with Jyrki again after that the game became more interesting ad a lot more dangerous because chances are it would be taken off world. In space, on his own ship, Jyrki would have the advantage but down here it was equal footing, more or less, plus I had Navaari on my side.

I ordered lunch and ate the spicy soup slowly while pretending to read my magazine. In reality I was studying technical readouts of the buildings I wanted to look at. At Navaari’s urging I had logged into the public archives and had been utterly surprised to find the building plans on file available for download for a small fee..

Navaari had shrugged, “Too long you lived under the shadow of secrecy and lies. Information such as this is usually not hidden but is open and accessible to the public. ”

I had made a face but had not argued with him, then had paid with my cred-chip and downloaded the files on to my small hand held data-pad and studied them until my eyes burned. We had narrowed it down to three buildings and then had gone back to watching the recording until I had quite literally crashed asleep on Navaari’s shoulder.

It was a warm day for Nar Shadda and beings of races, types and colours were out enjoying the day, ignoring the pollution and the general stench that I would forever associate with this place. The Concourse was busy and many of the shops were having sales to try and pull in more customers. Shop owners barked at potential customers as well as each other trying to make more credits and on the whole the scene was raucous and lively. I set aside my magazine for a moment to watch the strange, unchoreographed dance and let my mind drift. The swirl of people moving along the sidewalk by the tap’caf swirled into a strange blend of liquid colour. I could feel the vision coming but I could not stop it. I could count on one hand the number of times I had been on the receiving end of a waking dream and none of them had been happy.

The room was dimly lit and bare save for a chair in the center. It stank of stale urine and vomit tainted with the sickly coppery scent of blood. Something bad had happened here but it had happened a very long time ago, ‘ancient history’ a voice whispered in my mind. ‘Mass murder, a moment in time gone bad, very, very bad. You don’t want to look, girl. You don’t want to look now, or ever….’

There was moment of peace then it was shattered by the sound of a warning siren, the shuttle bay door of the adjacent hotel opening. That hotel must have sound proof windows I thought absently other wise no one would stay there ever.

Suddenly the room which had been empty and badly lit almost burst with light and action. Navaari moved like water, fighting someone I could not see. There was fresh blood and lots of it on the floor and the walls but I didn’t know where it was coming from. I frantically looked around for my father but all I saw was a body lying on the floor. I couldn’t tell who it was.

“Go!” Navaari shouted, “Go now!” but he was too late and as his form vanished into dimness I felt rather than saw the person move behind me. When I turned around I came face to face with Jyrki Andando, hatred blazing in his eyes.

“Why, Mouse, why?” He hissed between clenched teeth. “Why must you always take the difficult path?” He reached out for my hand but I pulled away, shaking my head, not understanding what it was I was seeing over his shoulder. The room had erupted into a mass of writhing, screaming beings most of them twi’lek but none of them were real. Their bodies were translucent, and ghost like and I could see through them. It looked for a moment as though I had stumbled into a night club during the busy dance time but to my horror I realised they were not dancing, they were all being slaughtered. Suddenly the searing pain of a knife slicing through my shoulder, the same shoulder he had stuck the Anzati blade into, brought me to my senses. I reeled with agony, far too much agony for the wound that had been caused and dropped to my knees. I was grateful when the scene around me swirled into darkness.

I blinked and found myself on a Star Destroyer, kneeling on the floor cradling a body in my arms, at first the face, covered by hair matted with blood, was Jyrki’s but then it changed to my uncle’s which then morphed into Navaari’s. I tried to clear the sticky hair from his face but when I did so it was not Navaari I was staring at but Thrawn. I opened my mouth to scream but no sound came out.

Hands touched me then, pulling me back from the floor pulling me back from Thrawn’s lifeless form. I tried to hold on to him but he was too heavy and I was not strong enough. I tried to back away but I could not move properly, as though something had bound itself around my lower legs. I looked around and realised I was up to my knees in snow, freezing cold and very much alone. All around me a blizzard howled and in my hand I held my mother’s lightsaber hilt. I had no idea how it came to be in my hand and as I slowly turned around to try and figure out where the hell I was, the whiteness from the swirling storm blinded me.

As suddenly as this vision had descended down upon me so it receded and I realised I was not stranded on a planet full of snow and ice in the middle of a howling gale but seated in a pleasant tap’caf on Nar Shadda at lunch time. I looked at my hands hastily but there was no lightsaber and no blood only a bored sounding waiter asking me if I was alright and if there was anything else I wanted to order.

“I’m fine, just daydreaming.” I said as I shook off the remnants of the vision and nodded, mindful that I was being watched.

The waiter gave me a sceptical look and asked again if I needed anything else, the underlying threat being that if I wasn’t going to order I should leave so that another paying customer could have the table.

“Bring me another of these, please,” I added tapping my empty stim’caf cup, “with a shot of brandy on the side.”

The waiter nodded, picked up my empty cup and vanished into the dimness of the tap’caf. I sat back against the chair and drew a deep steadying breath. Puzzled by what I had seen and more than a little annoyed with it. I didn’t like that in more and more of my dreams and visions I saw Thrawn and I hated that he was usually dead or dying. This vision was particularly bizarre because there was a second story going on in it that had nothing to do with my current situation. I closed my eyes to bring back the images of the screaming mass of people, mainly young female twi’leks who had been ghost like in the back ground of the room I had seen myself in. It was the same room as the one in the holo recording Jyrki had made, windowless but large, too large to be a storage room, it had been meant for something else, something grim and unpleasant if this vision was anything to go on.

‘Ancient history’ the voice in the vision had said. ‘Mass murder, a moment in time gone bad, very, very bad. You don’t want to look, girl. You don’t want to look now, or ever….’

When he came back a few moments later my head was clear and as he placed the ‘caf and the brandy on the table I asked. “Excuse me but have you worked here long?”

“Yes miss, almost fifteen years now.”

“So you know the area well then?”

“I’d like to think so.” He replied in a get to the point tone of voice.

“I heard that near here there was some sort of a terrible murder which happened around this area. Someone was telling me that it happened in the Redbock Heights, a very bloody slaughter?” I asked in that voice tourists sometimes used when they are unsure about a local urban myth and want it conformed.

The waiter, an older looking human male, furrowed his brow. “You’d be talking about the Dibbson slave ring murder but that weren’t at the Redbock that were at the Grish’min Inn and no one stays there any more. Inn’s been shut down for maybe going on ten years now though the council won’t tear it down on account that the owner still pays his taxes and everything. People says it’s haunted, and most people stays away from it, says they hear the screams of the dead coming from it still.” The man said in the hushed voice of a co-conspirator telling a story.

“You seem to know a lot about it.” I said mildly surprised.

“I aughta,” he said, “I was working here the night it happened. Right mess it was too. Woulda never happened before the Empire, let me tell you, things was different in them days. Them jedi would have taken care of it before it got out of hand but the storm troopers, they was clueless.” He shook his head, “It was a slaughter pure and simple, they say the room was red from all the blood that was shed. There were so many dead that they had to farm out the bodies to some of the mortuaries in the nearby sectors, not enough space for ‘em all in the Corellian Sector. Place was crawling with stormtroopers and the like but even they was not man enough to handle what they saw inside. I remember clear as day one of ‘em hauling off his helmet and throwing up his lunch. Put the customers right off, it did.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “What happened?”

He snorted. “Slavers fighting over slaves is what happened. There was an auction, secret like, being held in the Inn’s lower rooms. The story goes that the slaves had been taken from all over the galaxy, though it was mainly twi’leks and most of them were female and young at that, younger than you even. The shipment of slaves was supposed to head over to someone in the Duros sector but they was stolen and the owner, a nasty piece of work named Merken, wanted them back. When he heard that his slaves was being auctioned off here and by his arch rival no less, he went ballistic, called in his people and the next thing you know there was a bloody war going on. Instead of being able to work it out with money and spice like they usually would the two warring factions turned on each other and the slaves in the room. It was a blood bath from start to end. Sixty three slaves plus the owners and their gangs were all dead, torn to shreds. Only one to survive was a little twi’lek girl who saw the whole thing and testified, told the HoloNet news and everything. Don’t know what ever became of her though. Big scandal for the Inn, seeing as how auctioning slaves outside of a proper auction arena ain’t exactly legal though usually everyone turns a blind eye to it, you know. The inn closed down after that.”

“Sounds awful.” I said letting the breath I had been holding in slowly out.

“It was, them pictures was splashed all over the HoloNet, nightmares for months afterwards. Why you so interested anyways?” He asked suddenly a little suspicious.

I shook my head. “Someone on the shuttle I came in on mentioned something about a haunted hotel is all. I am staying at the Redbock; I asked about it there but they won’t tell me anything, said it was not a story for lady-like ears to hear.” I said with a nonchalant shrug, “I didn’t want to stay in a haunted hotel and I don’t think they wanted to lose my business.”

“Don’t imagine they would be wanting to discuss that seeing as how they is situated directly across from the Grish’min Inn. He nodded knowingly. “Don’t blame you either but the Redbock is alright, though you might like to look over your bill carefully when you checks out, they has a habit of making expensive mistakes with their billing.” He said with a wink. “If you know what I mean.”

“Oh really, thanks I will make sure to keep an eye on that.” I beamed a delighted and relieved smile at him.

The waiter nodded then seeing a frantically waving hand from another customer he gave me a polite shrug and went back to work. I had to fight from grinning like a mad thing or worse jumping up and down with excitement. I was certain that this place, this Inn the waiter had told me about was the place Jyrki was holding my father. It was one of the three buildings I had narrowed my search down to. It fit the profile and now it fit the vision I had just had.

I dumped the shot of brandy into my stim’caf and sipped at it thoughtfully. The trick would be how to get rid of the guy who was following me and get into the condemned Grish’min Inn to search it. I had technical readouts to the building so finding a way in should not be that hard to do. A little voice whispered in my ear to wait until I could talk it over with Navaari, who had given me several stern warnings against taking matters into my own hands, but another part of me felt that time was running out for my father and that if I didn’t act now I might regret it more. So, I sat and waited, trying to logic my way around this situation, the way Thrawn did, hoping to find a solution that did not end up with me or my family at death’s door.

Thinking of Thrawn made me melancholy. I missed him terribly and despite all of Navaari’s assurances, I was certain he would not forgive me for running off in the manner that I had. I had reasoned out that he, of all people, would understand the need to do everything I could to save my family, after all he had lost his brother and I know he still mourned for Thrass even though he rarely spoke about him. I was certain that if he could go back and change things, he would have done everything he could have to save his brother’s life. I knew he understood my reasons for coming to Nar Shadda I just wasn’t so sure he would forgive me for the way in which I had carried out my plan. We had agreed no more secrets and I had completely ignored this in order to come here at Jyrki’s command.

Now I was wasting time, letting Jyrki to set the pace and make the rules. I drummed my fingers on the table and sighed, this waiting around was becoming tedious and I had had enough. It was time to turn the tables; it was time I took the offensive. Instead of being the hunted I was about to take on the hunt. I drained my stim’caf, the shot of brandy in it burning as it slid down my throat. As nonchalantly as I could I got and headed into the dimly lit tap’caf to use the ‘fresher. This was one of the most useful pieces of advice my father had ever given me. Eat, drink and use the 'fresher when ever you get the chance because you just never know what will happen next and it sucks if you end up someplace thirsty, hungry and desperately needing to pee.

I stood in the dimly lit fresher staring at my reflection as I splashed cold water on my face. I took a very deep breath and nodded to myself then I found the waiter and paid my bill giving him a generous tip on top. I lingered inside the tap’caf a few moments under the guise of watching the HoloNet feed they had on display and when the waiter had left the inside again I moved quickly to find the back entrance, which as luck would have it was through the kitchen.

I used all the force talents I had to make sure the cook and his helper did not notice I was there. Mind tricks, Lord Vader had called this talent and while it wasn’t my strongest talent it was good enough to get me through the somewhat dubious looking kitchen and out through the back entrance into a small ally. I glanced around and reached out with that sixth sense. The man who had been sent to follow me was still sitting at his table, expecting me to return no doubt. I breathed a little sigh of thanks because this gave me a head start. The ugly man was not stupid; it would not take him very long to figure out what had happened when I didn’t come back to my table.

I glanced around the ally to see how best to proceed and spying an escape ladder decided that since most people thought in two dimensions the very best way to elude being followed again was to go up. Gathering my courage and ignoring the little voice in my head telling me this was a very bad idea I grabbed the first rung of the ladder and began to climb up it. It was time to go find my father, meet up with Navaari who was probably trying to figure out how to get into my ship and then get the hell off this planet. If Jyrki wanted to kill Luke Skywalker he was going to have to do that without my help.

The Madness Divine 2

I woke up in darkness with a gasp momentarily uncertain of where I was. The nightmare that had gripped me fled and all that remained were remnants, fleeting images of the Emperor and Luke Skywalker melding into one. I did not need to remember all the details to know what it had been about. With a sigh I heaved myself out of bed, sleep still numbing my brain, and stumbled my way to the ‘fresher.

For what seemed an age I stood in front of the mirror, ice cold water still dripping off my face and stared at my reflection. I looked like a speeder wreck. My eyes were still puffy from sleep and crying and the dark circles that were etched into my skin scared me. In my heart I felt sick. My deal with Jyrki did not sit well on my soul but I did not know what else to do to help my family. I did not know how to circumnavigate what Jyrki had done, what he wanted to do. I shook my head at my self, dried off my face, switched off the light and made my way back to the darkened bedroom. I didn’t want to even consider all the possible, terrible outcomes of Jyrki’s insane plans.

On the bedside table sat the little holo recorder Jyrki had given me. It contained a message from my father, a sign of life, but I had not opened the file to watch it. I was terrified of what I would see. The flash of memory the recorder had given me as I had picked it up in the cantina had been bad enough. Jyrki or his partners had beaten my father, that much I had seen, and I had no desire to see any more but somewhere in the message would be a clue to his whereabouts, I was sure of that. However until my mind was a little more focused, all looking at the message would do was anger me further and anger, while useful also clouded my thinking.

I went over to the window and pushed the slotted blinds apart with my finger to stare out into the city. Lights shone and signs blinked, traffic moved in a never ending stream and for a small moment I felt as though I were back on Coruscant. A pang of homesickness for something that had never even existed ripped sharply through my chest and I found myself crying again, silently.

Somewhere out there my Uncle lay broken and dead. Somewhere out there the people I loved were being held against their will by a man they had once considered part of the family. I did not know how to move forward and for one of the few times in my life I felt a terribly sense of helplessness and hopelessness. I drew a deep steadying breath and shook my head to myself. I should have talked to Thrawn before rushing off, I should have asked for his advice and maybe gotten some back up. He would have had a plan or even several plans because he always knew what to do and just how to do it. My hand went to place at my throat where my necklace would have lain, its comforting weight gone because it was on Nirauan where I had left it.

For a moment I rested my forehead against the frame of the window. The sickly sensation of utter inevitability crawled across my skin, the hair on the back of my neck stood up and I slowly realised that these sensations were not due to my feelings of helplessness but rather because I was not alone in the room but before I could move, turn around or grab anything that could be used as a weapon, one strong arm had wrapped itself around my upper body pinning my arms to my sides while the other hand cupped, with surprising gentleness, over my mouth.

The moment stretched and fear, along with anger, shot through me. I had been so wrapped up in my own little world I had neither sensed nor heard the intruder. I forced myself to calm down and to breathe slowly. As I did so I realised that I knew the scent of the man that was holding me and the voice that whispered in my ear was as familiar to me as my own.

“Screaming would be a very bad idea.” He said softly, sensing the moment I recognised him because I went from rigid to relaxed as his words tickled the skin on my neck. He released his grip, allowing me to spin around and fling my arms around his body.

“Navaari.” I whispered, so astonished, so relieved to see him here instead of some stranger hell bent on doing me some sort of bodily harm that I did not even think to question his unnoticed presence in my hotel room at all.

He stroked my hair as he had done so often on Hjal, letting me cry, letting me pull myself back together. When I drew a deep breath he pushed me back from his chest, a hand upon each of my shoulders so that he could study me with his fierce red, glowing eyes. He shook his head and frowned. “You are an idiot child. You are knowing this, yes?” He said but there was no anger in his voice, only sadness and frustration. “Impetuous and headstrong, you do not think, you simply act. How many times will you be racing headlong into danger without thinking first?”

I shook my head pulling away from him to turn back to the window, peeking out through the small crack in the blinds once again. “How did you find me?” I asked after what felt like forever, careful to avoid his question.

Navaari snorted and moved away from me to sit on the edge of the bed. “I am Jhal’kai, you forget. You are not so difficult to track.”

I nodded, absently remembering that the tracer chip in my Dantassi mask, still on my ship, would have led him straight to me. I had forgotten about that. “How long have you been hiding in my room?”

“Long enough to be knowing you are troubled.” He replied cryptically. “I have been watching you for some time, waiting until you were awake and this seemed the best moment to make my presence known to you without alerting the others who also keep their eyes on you.” He nodded towards the door. “That lock was easy enough to undo.”

I gave him a look. “That’s a little creepy you know.”

He simply shrugged, half amused at my annoyance.

“What are you doing here, Navaari?” I asked quietly.

“Your Ta’kasta’cariad was feeling it would be beneficial if someone backed you up in what ever snow crazed plan you had rushed headlong into.”

“I didn’t tell Thraw…. Za’ar where I was going, so how the hell did he know?” I asked, surprised at the anger lacing my words.

Navaari snorted. “You were thinking that message you received was known only to you?”

I drew in a deep breath and let it out with a noisy sigh. “He made a copy and decoded it himself.”

“He was telling me the look on your face was as if your world had collapsed, he knew it had to do with the Andando boy. Before you had even left the base he had word sent to me to come here. He is knowing you even better than you know yourself sometimes. You seem to think you must face all these terrible things by yourself but that is not the case and one of these days you will be learning to ask for help instead of help having to seek you out. It would be saving much time and difficulties, you know.” Navaari chided.

I sighed. “Jyrki is hardly a boy, Navaari, he’s years older than I am.” I snapped trying to hide the fact that no matter what I thought I was unable to hide anything from Thrawn. I couldn’t decide if that made me angry or relieved.

Navaari shrugged. “In his head Jyrki Andando is still the wounded, terrified child who has never forgiven the galaxy for its wrongs to him or his kind. He cannot let go of the past which is haunting him. Unlike you Kysci’i, he has never had the chance to go through sju’ru’arwy’kha. He still walks with all of his ghosts and they have had a long time to whisper their poison in his ears.”

I could only glance at him in agreement, unable to speak as emotion choked me. I had seen what Anakin had done, felt it as though I had been there. If anyone in the galaxy understood Jyrki’s pain it was me but that did not mean I could forgive him for what he had done, for what he was now doing, no matter what his reasons were.

“Is Za’ar very angry with me?” I asked after a while.

Navaari’s shrug was nonchalant. “No more so than usual.” He replied honestly, “He understands that sometimes certain things have to happen no matter what and that the past must be faced before the future can be met. This boy is bound to you, I have said this before. You will not be free of this until you sever this bond. It is a terrible destiny that ties the two of you together.”

I nodded miserably and sat at his side burying my face in my hands trying not to let the terrible wave of sorrow I felt engulf me.

Navaari, who had nursed me through hell and back and knew me better than probably anyone else with the exception of Thrawn, frowned. “Kycsi’i what is it you are trying to tell me without saying the words?”

“He killed my Uncle Vahlek.” I whispered, not wanting to say the words out loud, not wanting them to be true.

Navaari was surprised. “Tze’yusha’Jin Akosh is dead?”

I nodded again, the lump in my throat making it difficult for me to speak.

“How?”

My shoulders heaved as I drew in a deep breath and then recounted to Navaari everything that Jyrki had told me, leaving out nothing. When I was done he was silent, lost in thought, considering what to do next, what to say next.

“Did he see where the body landed?”

I frowned at the question and shook my head not even wanting to consider the images that flashed through my mind.

Navaari gave me a little nod and let the matter drop.

“I don’t know how to help Jyrki any more. I don’t know how to make him see that what he wants to do is beyond insane.” I said trying to fill the sudden gulf the quiet had created. My voice trembled, making Navaari look at me.

“A’myshk’a,” He began patiently, “you must be understanding, Jyrki Andando is so haunted by his past he will never be free of it. That is his madness, being trapped in this terrible thing that happened to him with no way to escape.” He finally said, breaking the awful silence. “You loved him, you gave him your heart freely and for that he is tied to you. He doesn’t understand it but he cannot let go of it either.”

“He refused me, when I told him how I felt; he pushed me away, shut himself off and vanished.” The words, as I spoke, were surprisingly acidic on my tongue, the hurt as fresh as ever. Jyrki was not the only one who had unhealed wounds. I wondered then, did we ever really get over these things, these terrible rites of passage?

“This is because your love frightened him; it was pure, innocent and unabashed. This is the one thing he could not understand because it is the one thing he has never truly known or learned. It was easier to turn away from you than face his greatest fear.”

“But why? What is so frightening about love? About being loved?” I asked.

“Nothing unless you feel you are unlovable. To accept that this was untrue would have meant letting go of the past.” Navaari explained.

I sighed and frowned. “How can he think he is unlovable?” I whispered.

Navaari shrugged, “Only he can answer that and it is something of this man you will never understand because it is something you have never known. You have always been loved and cared for no matter what you have done, no matter what befalls you. This has shaped the woman you are today and he does not understand how someone such as yourself could ever have loved someone such as him. He does not think he is worthy.”

Suddenly I understood. “He blames himself for what happened at the jedi Temple, he feels responsible somehow, even though he was just a small boy, even though there was nothing he could do, he blames himself.” I whispered. “He feels guilty because he survived.”

“What a terrible thing for a child to have experienced.” Navaari said quietly.

I looked up at Navaari in surprise. “You sound as though you feel sorry for him.”

“That is because I do.” He replied without explanation and before I could say anything more, or tell him that he was not exactly alone in this emotion, he abruptly changed the topic. “Now, what are your plans?”

“Plans?” I shrugged, “I have no plans. I have no clues, no ideas, no nothing! He has my family, he wants me to help him murder someone for something they have not even done yet and his bargaining chip is my family’s life. How can I plan around that?”

Navaari shook his head, his long silver hair rippling across his shoulders with the motion, catching in the sliver of light that made its way through crack in the blinds. “Silly pup, have I not taught you better than this? Do you give up so easily to this pash’kja’anta.” He stood up, slipped off the satchel that had been slung over his shoulder and shrugged off his long, full coat. “Do you have nothing to guide you or is your head so clouded by fear that you have forgotten how to track?”

His rebuke stung but he was right. I leaned back to grasp the holo recorder off the night table and winced at the images which flashed through my head as I did so. While Jyrki might not have turned to the Dark Side with his powers he had become cruel and hurtful. I described what I saw to Navaari as the visions unfolded in my head and he listened without interruption. When I was done he made me go back into the memories and pick out tiny details in the room I had seen, the sounds I had heard and every little thing no matter how small it might seem that I could pick apart. When he was satisfied he allowed me to play the recording. The small blue hologram shimmered as it displayed from the small recorder-player. I had to cover my mouth to stifle the whimper that threatened to escape.

My father sat, bound to a chair, his face beaten and bruised and stared at the recorder which Jyrki had held in his hand.

“Tell her.” Jyrki said. The coldness in his voice scared me. The madness behind it frightened me even more.

My father raised his head slowly, obviously in pain and began to speak. “Merlyn, what ever he asks don’t do it….” He began and someone, whose back was to the recorder, stopped the rest of the sentence with a vicious back hand.

I looked away but Navaari touched my shoulder. “If you are wanting to help your father you must bear to see his pain. Watch and detach yourself from your emotions and see with a hunter’s eyes. There are clues in this waiting for you.”

I bit back the angry retort that threatened to escape my mouth and did as he told me.

My father’s head rocked with the blow but if it hurt him further he did not show it. “Go to hell!” he spat, blood running from his already swollen and bruised lips.

Jyrki snorted and turned the small recorder on himself. “Yer see Mouse, he is very much alive. If yer want to save him then yer will do as I ask. If yer do not then my friend here will take care of Kit and the rest of those yer love.” The holo recorder swung around to show me the man Jyrki was talking about, the one who had hit my father. It was the same man I had met my first time in the Cantina. The man I knew as Lorano Dek inclined his head ever so slightly to the recorder. “Yer see, Mouse, I have the situation in control. Do as yer told and all will be well.” He said and then he swung the recorder around to show me my father and the image shut off.

I trembled with the rage I felt. Power crackled around me and I had to fight the urge to smash the small recorder against the far wall. Navaari wrapped his arm around my shoulders and the boiling fury which burned my gut diffused into something else, something manageable. I released the heavy breath I had been holding and leaned against his shoulder.

“So, pup, what will be your first move?”

I glanced up at him and sighed. “I don’t know, I don’t even know if there is a solution that doesn’t involve someone dying.” I told him.

Navaari shook his head, “Well then, let us be making sure that you are not the one who dies.”

I made a face. “The first thing I would try to do is find out where he’s holding papa, but I don’t know where to begin.”

“Hmm.” Was all Navaari said letting me that he too was going to have to think about this a little then he asked, “Why have you not returned to your ship since you landed?”

I looked at him. “You are the one who has been following me?” I asked not answering his question.

“Yes, although I am not the only one. You were right to be cautious in your comings and goings.”

“Why did you wait till now to talk to me then?”

“I wished to observe the meeting between you and Jyrki Andando without you knowing I was there.”

I shook my head. “I knew someone was watching me, I thought it was one of Jyrki’s pals and that’s why I didn’t go back to my ship. I don’t want him to know about it.” I said and I explained to Navaari why I feared Jyrki finding my ship.

“So you think he will have a ship of his own?”

I nodded. “It makes sense. He will want to have complete control over the situation and using a ship he was not completely familiar with would not fit into that plan. He knows what I can do, hell he taught me most of it.” I said crossly, “He knows me well enough to anticipate some of the counter moves I would make. Having his own ship would ensure he was prepared for that. Even if he knows about mine, he would be reluctant to use it but that would not stop him from sabotaging it anyway.”

“Tell me how to bypass your security measures and then I can fly it for you, follow you to where he wishes you to go, to meet this son of Vader.”

I nodded then frowned, “But I think that he has my family here on Nar Shadda, at least papa is here. He keeps saying family but I have not actually heard him say anything about Bedi or Bel and they are not in any of the visions I have seen or the recording he made. That man in the holo recording was at the cantina to meet me the first time I was there.” I said. “It would not make sense if they were being held on a different planet or moon. They might be in a different city but I don’t think so, I think they are close by, close enough to be able to watch me as well. He won’t have that many people involved. Jyrki is a loner, he doesn’t play well with others and especially not for something like this.”

“It would be making things a lot easier if it was only your father to find and free.”

I nodded, realising the implication of my words. I wasn’t sure that Bedi and Bel were safe but the more I thought about it the more I began to get the feeling they were not on Nar Shadda and that Jyrki didn’t have them captive. It was just a feeling but it was so strong I could not ignore it.

“Tell me about the second man.”

“He’s a killer.” I replied without having to think about it. “He moves the way Uncle Vahlek does… did.” I stopped and corrected myself, “He hides his power, his edge behind a front of feigned indifference and indolence but he moved like a gurreck. I think he’s had training like Jyrki maybe from the Anzati. He has an easy smile but it never reaches his eyes. I think he felt he had me summed up inside of five seconds but he missed a lot of things as well. He underestimated me once. I saw that in his face.”

“How?”

I recounted when I had told Lorano Dek ‘no I would not meet with Jyrki that day’. “He was surprised and that was not faked. He’s a big man and he’s all muscle but he isn’t hampered by it. Right handed but I think he could wield a weapon in his left if he had to. There were calluses on both his palms. Jyrki told him about me, as much as he knows and he watched me drop a spacer who world not take no for an answer so he is aware that I am not just fluff.”

“Could you kill him?”

I nodded. “Yes.” I did not hesitate on my reply. “But it would be a difficult fight.”

Navaari gave me a little nod of approval. “So how do we go about finding them?” He asked, testing me just as he used to Hjal while teaching me the tricks of the Jhal’kai trade.

“Use the clues in the recording and the memories.” I replied.

Navaari sat still, allowing me to think the problem through, then when he sensed I was ready we walked the problem step by step, looking for the tiniest of signs which would lead to the quarry, just as he had taught me and he had taught me well. At some point between the billionth viewing of the holo recording and dawn I fell asleep, slumped against Navaari’s shoulder, exhausted beyond caring. When I woke up on my bed with a blanket draped over me, it was broad daylight and Navaari was gone.

For a moment, caught between sleeping and waking, I knew a sort of despair and wondered if Navaari’s visit had all be another figment of my already addled imagination but when I saw that he had left behind something I knew he was real and here on Nar Shadda, sent by Thrawn to save my ass yet again. I reached over and picked up the tiny bone amulet and studied it with a smile. It had been carved in the shape of a wolf’s paw print from the bone of a grellett which was hard, smooth and deceptively heavy. The snow wolf was apparently my spirit animal so Navaari’s friend, Kerrjan, had said; noting the ease with which the sled hounds had taken to me.

“They recognise kin.” Kerrjan had said.

“I am not related to sled wolves!” I had retorted completely missing his point so he had spelled it out for me.

“They recognise your spirit is the same as theirs, free and wild. You are kindred spirits. That is why they are happy with you, why you find solace when you are with them.” He had explained.

His answer had made sense and I had just smiled.

By carving this for me, Navaari was giving me the strength of the sled wolf, reminding me that I was no longer the little girl I had once been. That Jyrki only held sway over me if I let him. I clasped it in my hand for a moment and a flood of images melted into me. What Navaari had really given me was his strength and his love. I slipped the leather thong over my head and tucked the tiny wolf paw pendant under my shirt, then rubbing the last of the sleep from my eyes I went to the fresher to shower and begin to put into place some of the plans Navaari and I had made the night before. Now that I understood I was not alone, that I was never truly alone I felt better about the terrible tasks that lay ahead.

The Madness Divine 1

Jyrki’s eyes, even more blue than I remembered, bored into mine as though by doing so he could see past my face and into my soul. I did not back down or look away. I had learned in the last few years a thing or two about myself and he no longer intimidated me instead he made me angry and anger was easy to use. I had loved this man once, the very sight of him had made my teen aged heart race and my knees weak but over time things had changed and it never ceased to astound me how quickly love could turn to hate.

He had aged and the last couple years had not been kind to him. His once handsome face was now etched with the lines of battle and stress, worry and something else I could n0t define, something I had not picked up on when I had seen him at the med-lab after Cati had died. A fresh scar ran down the side of his right cheek and there were fresh bruises on his knuckles. He had been in a fight recently and it had been a hard one. His long hair, which had once been blacker than a Hutt’s heart was now peppered with strands of white. It had not escaped my notice that he still had a slight limp as he had walked into the cantina to make our meeting. That limp had been my doing from our fight on Rothana, although at the time he had not known who I was. I wondered absently if his limp reminded him of me, then decided I didn’t really want to know the answer to that one.

“Yer look well Mouse.” Jyrki finally said, breaking the strangled silence between us.

I arched an eyebrow at him. “Where are they?” I asked pointedly. I did not have time for niceties and I wasn’t about to sit and make small talk with the man who was holding my family against their will for reasons I still did not know.

“Safe.” He replied after a terse minute of quiet. “Mouse, yer need to understand…”

I waved a hand abruptly at him, cutting him off mid sentence. “I don’t have to understand anything!” I hissed through clenched teeth, leaning into the table to get closer to him. “You kidnapped my family to get to me. Now I am here so get to the point, what do you want?”

He sat back in his chair and toyed with his glass. “I need yer help.” He finally said.

I could not have been more surprised than if he had told me he wanted to marry me. “What?”

“I need yer help.” He repeated.

There was a lengthy pause and then I replied carefully, “And for that you took my family hostage?”

“Would yer have come if I hadn’t?”

I glared at him and shook my head. “I’m done with you.” I told him. “You chose your side and you made your position clear. You hurt me, damn it, you very nearly killed me and not just once and for what?” I pressed, “Because you cannot let go of the past.” I bit back the words that threatened to spill out of my mouth angry and vicious. Ranting at him would be pointless, my words would fall on deaf ears so I drew a deep breath, swallowed my fury at him down to answer the original question. “No, I would not have come, not for you alone.” I said. “Now…my family….”

He nodded and again we stared at each other. “They’re safe, if that’s what yer need to know.”

“What do you want in exchange?” I asked. He had not lied but something was not quite right in his words. I might have been able to sort it out had I opened up to the force but I did not want him to see my strengths in this area. My force talents, since he had first met me, had become far stronger than I wanted him to know. My talents had been honed and sharpened by both Lord Vader and the Emperor and while I had not become what either man had wanted I had still learned. I was certain that even Jyrki would be concerned by what I could do were I to let the full extent of my training both in the force and the combat arts fly. It was a hidden weapon and I wanted it to stay that way until I absolutely needed it.

“I told yer, I need yer help.” He was being deliberately evasive.

I waited him out instead of pushing, giving him a get to the point look.

He leaned into the table, his body language letting me know he did not want anyone else to hear what he had to say. “I need yer to help me kill Luke Skywalker.” He said.

For a moment all I could do was stare at him, unsure if I had actually heard him correctly. Then with a shake of my head I simply said. “You’re mad.”

He leaned back in his chair again, anger flashing in his beautiful eyes. “Perhaps,” he said carefully, “but hear me out.”

I folded my arms across my chest, sitting back against my chair back and waited.

“He is the son of Anakin Skywalker….” He began, trying to find the right words to explain his plans.

“I know that!” I interrupted.

“Anakin turned to the dark side….”

“I know that as well.” I said bluntly, annoying him.

He drew a deep breath. “Mouse…yer must see it, the connection?”

“You think the son of Anakin Skywalker will turn to the dark side.” It was not a question.

Jyrki nodded. “I know he will.”

I cocked my head to one side. “Know? How?”

“I’ve seen it.” He said quietly. “I’ve had force visions of the future. He takes on the mantel of Emperor; he turns to the Dark side to rule the galaxy.”

I shook my head slightly. I, too, had seen this vision but I wasn’t about to tell Jyrki this. “How can you see the future?” I asked putting as much disbelief into my words as possible.

His shoulders heaved with the sigh he made. “It’s a force talent. Sometimes some people who are force sensitive receive visions of the past or the future.” He explained, slumped over with the burden of it all. “I was trained from the time I was a baby to trust in the force and all its ways. I have had visions all my life Mouse.”

I shook my head. “But how can you see the future if it hasn’t even happened yet? And if you can how do you know that is exactly what will happen? The future can change.”

He nodded. “Master Yoda used to say that the future was fluid and always in motion but even so there is still truth in the visions. A few weeks before Anakin Skywalker came to the temple with the five-oh-first I had a dream about him. I saw him dressed all in black and where his face had been was emptiness, like a black hole, swallowing all the good all the light in the galaxy. In my dream he was destroying the jedi temple stone by stone.”

“It was just a dream.” I countered playing devil’s advocate. I knew enough about these sorts of dreams to fill a book but I wasn’t sure I wanted to share that with Jyrki.

Jyrki snorted. “I had spoken about my dream with one of the masters and he had looked worried as I did so. Anakin Skywalker was controversial at best amongst the council members of the Jedi Temple and even we children knew that. I grew up knowing him, admiring him but also being a little scared of him. He was the Chosen One. He was so strong in the force that it was almost as it he shimmered in it, but there was a terrible darkness to him as well. Whispers of his temper, his impatience and his attachment to his mother as well as other people, all the things we are taught from the very beginning to avoid were in him. Even Master Windu did not trust him.”

“I though it was all harmony and love at the Jedi temple.” The sarcasm in my voice made me sound petulant but I didn’t care.

Jyrki made a face and shrugged. “They were troubled times, Mouse. The galaxy was at war. The jedi were supposed to be keepers of the peace not warriors but Anakin was the best there was. He and his master Obi-Wan were heroes to us, they almost always won and they always came back alive but I heard the whispers when the adults thought us children were not paying attention. They thought Anakin was unpredictable and dangerous, that he relished the fights he lunged into too much and he killed too easily. There were also the rumours that he was having an affair with Senator Amidala. Towards the end, just before all nine Corellian hells broke loose; there were even rumours that she was pregnant. I didn’t understand then, I was just a small boy at the time, but now I do, she carried Anakin’s child, well…children.”

“How does this make Luke evil?” I asked, trying to unravel his insane logic.

Jyrki gritted his teeth and glanced away. “I’ve seen him turn, just like his father. He will find the spirit of Palpatine and take it into himself, turning to the Dark Side to rule over the galaxy. I’ve had the same dream over and over again. History repeating itself all over again and I cannot let it happen. I cannot let anyone else suffer the way I suffered, the way all the children and people in the Jedi temple suffered or the way the galaxy suffered under the rule of a sith master.”

“Okay, so you’ve seen him in a vision, that doesn’t mean you have to kill him.” I countered, frowning. “I thought he was the hero of the rebellion, how can someone who has done so much for your side of this conflict suddenly be so bad?”

“He is a hero. Without his skills as a pilot we would never have won, without his help at Endor Vader and Palpatine would still be alive but that doesn’t change the fact of what will happen if I don’t stop it.” He said flatly, “Which is why I need yer help.”

“What the hell can I do?” I asked. “I don’t even know him.”

Jyrki smiled and I didn’t like it much. “Yer are force sensitive, Mouse.”

I snorted. “My powers are nominal at best.” I lied.

Jyrki raised both eyebrows. “Yer underestimate yerself. Even as a child yer powers were strong. If ye’d had been trained properly yer’d have been a powerful jedi, I am sure of that.”

“Well I am grateful that never happened. I hate the idea that I would have been brainwashed into a weapon for the Jedi masters to use.” I shot out before I could censor myself.

Jyrki shrugged. “Yer had so much potential, Mouse. I wish I could have done more to save yer.”

I sighed and shook my head. “I still don’t see how you need my help in your quest. You are quite capable of killing Luke Skywalker yourself, hell you’ve shown me how violent and vicious you can be.” I snapped. “I will not kill him for you.”

“I am not asking yer to kill him for me, I need yer to distract him for me.” He tried to explain.

I shook my head. “You’re asking me to be the bait and that makes me an accomplice. You’re asking me to swap my family’s life for Skywalker’s. I can’t do that Jyrki. If I do that I am no better than Anakin or for that matter, you.”

Jyrki clenched his jaw. “I will get what I want. I need yer help, I have yer family in a place yer will never find and they will die if yer don’t help me.”

He wasn’t lying and fear rippled through my heart. I didn’t know what to do and I was certain he meant every single word he had just said. He was nuts and hell bent on doing this terrible deed.

“I need time to consider this.” I said after a long pause.

His smile was nasty. “Yer mean yer need time to wait to see if yer can get help. Well if that’s the case, forget it, he won’t help yer.”

“He?”

“The Tze’yusha’Jin.” He replied.

“Uncle Vahlek?” I asked as my heart skipped a beat. I hadn’t actually been thinking about him but something in Jyrki’s smirk scared me.

“Yer uncle…” Jyrki snorted. “He’s not related to yer at all!”

“I know that but he’s family all the same.” I bit back, “What about him?”

“He won’t be coming to help yer out this time because he’s dead.”

I suppose my face must have blanched because Jyrki automatically reached forward to touch my hand, some measure of comfort for the bad news he has just dumped on me. I snatched my hand away from him as though he would burn me and he scowled. I tasted his words and knew that he was not lying to me. He really believed Uncle Vahlek had died. My heart seemed to stop and I held my breath as though in doing so I could make his words go away.

“How do you know this?” I eventually whispered.

“I watched him die.” He said simply.

I shook my head in disbelief. Uncle Vahlek was Tze’yusha’Jin, one of the best in the galaxy if all I had ever been told was correct. He was a well trained assassin and hunter, killing him would not have been an easy task. “How?”

Jyrki sneered. “I told yer to warn him that I’d deal with him if he did not back off. I knew he was following me I knew what he was after. Did he think I was stupid? He’s not the only one who has received training at the hands of the Anzati. He came after me here, would have succeeded except he’s not a force user and I am. We fought not too far from here on one of the gantry-ways. He lost his concentration just long enough for me to kick him over the side and he fell. No one could have survived that fall and I have not felt his presence since.”

I could not stop the tears that welled up in my eyes. Jyrki had not lied and as he had spoken I could almost see what he was describing in my head, as though he were force projecting the images to me much the way Lord Vader used to do. “You bastard.” I whispered, anger welling up from deep inside my gut. I had to fight from reaching across the table to grab him and smash his head with my fist. “You have no idea…no idea at all.” I half babbled, wanting to tell him that he had just murdered the man who might very well be his father. I clapped a hand over my mouth to keep the secrets from spilling out. Hot tears ran over them and I was trembling.

“He came after me.” Jyrki said sounding sulky.

“You tried to kill me with an Anzati blade.” I spat, “He’s my sworn guardian. What did you expect him to do?”

Jyrki stared at me. “That was an accident, Mouse. I didn’t know the blade still held poison.”

I shook my head. “You’re as stupid as you are vengeful.” I was too angry now to watch my words or care if what I said triggered his temper. “You want me to help you kill Luke Skywalker because you’re afraid he’ll turn to the dark side and use his powers in anger but you are just as bad.”

“I never used my force abilities in rage, Mouse.” He spoke so softly it caught me off guard. “I have never once done that but you have, haven’t you?”

I was about to retort but realised he was telling me the truth and as I thought back to every encounter we had ever had including the time he had saved me from being raped I understood it was the truth. He had never used rage to fuel strengthen his powers, although I was certain that sometimes anger had tainted his motives. He had perhaps seen what he could gain from that but he had never used it. He had watched what turning to the Dark side had done to Anakin Skywalker and it had stuck with him forever, this terrible memory which had become Jyrki’s greatest fear. He was also right about me. I had tasted that surge of power driven by anger and hatred. The Emperor had seen to this personally. I knew that taint of blackness and how easy it would have been to open up and allow the anger to rule but it was a choice that was made consciously and I chose not to use it. However, it seemed that, unlike Jyrki, I wasn’t scared stupid by it either.

“That’s why you want me to do this for you isn’t it.” I asked quietly.

“Yer’ve touched that darkness, I feel it Mouse. I sense yer anger and I can feel yer desire. Yer ruled by yer passions, even now I sense it in yer.” He shrugged almost arrogantly, as though he were somehow better than I was because he had never succumbed to that dark side of human nature and I wanted to slap him, proving him right which infuriated me even more.

“That may be so but at least it doesn’t make me act like a frightened durni, kidnapping people and using blackmail to get what I want!”

He avoided that topic by saying, “It’s a simple thing. I need yer help to get to Luke Skywalker.”

“Why don’t you just go to him yourself? If you tell him you’re force sensitive he will take you on as a student and then you will be as close as possible to him. I heard he was trying to rebuild the jedi order, isn’t that what you want?”

“Only a Master could rebuild the Jedi Order and Skywalker doesn’t have the training. He’s the son of a Sith Lord and he will walk his father’s path, I have seen that much. I will not allow him to know that I have this power because he will try to corrupt me if he learns of it.”

There would be no arguing with him about this. How could one argue with insanity? “How do you expect me to help you then?” I asked switching to a less confrontational tack.

“I know where he will be in seven day’s from now. Yer will find a way to meet with him in private and I will deal with him when yer do.” He said.

“By deal with him you mean kill.”

“It is the will of the force, Mouse, I have seen it. Why else would I have been sent these visions if it were not?”

I didn’t think he wanted to hear my answer so instead I stayed quiet thinking about how I could possibly circumnavigate this mess. “Where will he be?

Jyrki smiled and it sent a shudder down my spine. “Yer must think me stupid to give up that information.” He said.

“You’re asking me to be an accomplice to murder. Stupid is not the first word that comes to mind.”

“Yer haven’t agreed yet.”

“I want assurances my family are safe and well. You could be lying for all I know.” I spat.

Jyrki smiled slightly. “Still have not honed that particular skill yet? I would have thought that Palpatine would have taught you better.”

“A lot of what you thought was wrong.” I said through gritted teeth. At least he had no idea of just how much better my force powers were which would be a small point in my favour.

He sighed and dug out from his pocket a small holo recorder. He set it on the table and pushed it to me. “There is a message from yer father on it but I suggest yer open that up in private. Yer’ve got two days to decide his fate and that of the rest of yer family. I will be here at the same time two days from now and if yer answer is yes then I give the word to set them free if yer not here I will have them killed and a bounty placed on yer head as a traitor to the Rebellion. Yer may have erased all records of who yer worked for but I know and I have ways of getting information. It would be a shame if yer face were to be plastered all over the HoloNet as Vader’s protégé.”

“I was never his protégé!” I yelled. People turned to stare at us and I felt a hot flush creep into my cheeks.

Jyrki smiled nastily knowing he’d found a sore spot to dig at. “I beg to differ on that point, Vader liked yer, he trained with yer, and he taught yer things. I know because Antygra told me all about yer relationship with that man as well as how Palpatine favoured yer. I have data stored away that wasn’t erased, enough to condemn yer and yer family forever. I even know about yer alien lover, what was he called… ah yes the Grand Admiral Thrawn, also dead, by all accounts. There is no one from the Imperials left on yer side Mouse. I’m all yer’ve got. Do yer really want to lose the last people who care for yer for the sake of the Sith? Yer will help me destroy the Skywalker legacy and end this reign of terror forever. It is that simple and yer have no choice.”

I managed to look away, feigning sorrow at his words when really I was angrier than I had been in a long time. My shoulders shook with the weight of it and it took all my strength to shove it down as deeply as I could. By the time I looked back at him I had my emotions under control. “Alright.” I said, “I’ll do as you ask but my family goes free and after this you will leave them alone forever or I will make sure you regret it for the rest of your life.”

He smiled. “Smart girl. I knew yer would see reason sooner or later.” He ignored my threat, he did not think of me as all that dangerous.

“Reason has nothing what so ever to do with this.” I spat.

“Everything I have ever done was for yer Mouse, don’t yer understand that? Yer have no idea how terrible the Dark Side can be and yer have no idea how much I want to protect yer from that evil path.”

I shook my head. “You are completely insane.”

“Perhaps, but if that’s what it takes to end the reign of the Sith then so be it.”

“Luke Skywalker is not a Sith Lord.” I said, surprised at the words coming out of my mouth.

“Neither was his father until he was turned. It only takes one thing to do the job.” Jyrki countered.

“It was the brutal torture and death of his mother by Tuskens that twisted Anakin Skywalker. Would you do the same to me?”

That surprised Jyrki, I read it in his eyes. He had not known this but in the end it changed nothing. He blamed Anakin for destroying his life and now he was going to get even. No matter what he told me his reason underneath it all it was still revenge. I glared at him as I stood up to leave, reaching to grasp the holo recorder from the table but as I did so he grabbed my wrist. “Don’t try anything stupid Mouse, yer not that good. I should know I taught yer.”

I just stared at him until he let go of me, picked up the recorder and left the cantina without looking back. My hand was shaking as I slid the recorder into my satchel and for a moment I thought I would be ill as a wave of dizziness washed over me. I had agreed to help assassinate one of the Galaxy’s most beloved members to save my own family. Never mind what I thought of him, Skywalker was a hero and by helping to murder him I would go down in history as reviled as Palpatine and Lord Vader were or die in the process of trying. Neither outcome was something I wished for.

I stumbled back to my hotel room, unaware of my surroundings. The sensation of being followed was there but I had felt someone watching my every move ever since the first time I had left the Cantina, now I did not care any more. It was most likely one of Jyrki’s people, I know they had followed me before and had even searched through my hotel room when I wasn’t there but anything of value I had I kept on my person. If he had hoped to find out anything more about me he was mistaken.

I got back to my room and all but flung myself down on the bed too wound up to think, cry or sleep. I had two days to come up with a way out of this situation as well as how to rescue my family and I wasn’t sure I could do this, especially not alone. When I suddenly remembered what Jyrki had said about Uncle Vahlek the tears came. I could not believe he was dead; I didn’t want to trust the news Jyrki had given me but I knew he had told the truth. The ache of loss hit me hard and sudden. I curled into a little ball on the bed and wept.

Beginnings and Endings 6

Flying into the Corellian Sector on Nar Shadda was a little like flying into the past. It brought back many memories and I smiled as the ship broke through the outer atmosphere into the dirty air that covered the moon like a thick blanket. I knew this place well enough to know how the system worked, and unlike the galactic government, this had not changed since the last time I had been here. As I navigated my ship down through the dirty looking buildings which towered high up into the moon’s atmosphere I wondered how the hell anyone in their right minds could actually live here. It was every bit as rank, dirty and depressing as I remembered, in spite of the bright flashing neon lights and myriad of gaudy advertising that half blinded any pilots skimming their way dockside.

The bored sounding flight controller at the second largest space port directed me to my assigned docking berth as though he were doing it in his sleep, which might very well have been the case. I waited while he processed my papers and hoped that Thrawn’s people had been as good as he had promised they would be. Although the ship’s name had stayed the same, I had docked under the name of Amyshka Pavjäska, a human trader based out of Corellia. It was a false identity we had come up with before I had gone to Coruscant, just in case I had been stopped by a New Republic control but I hadn’t needed to use it. Having multiple identities for both me and my ship was not terribly legal under the Imperial system of rule but it would have looked odd for a freelance smuggler not to have some back ups, even if I didn’t use them it was still something I needed. Now I was grateful and Amyshka was a name I would actually answer to so using it wasn’t difficult. I was pretty certain that Jyrki didn’t know I had a ship of my own and if he did he most likely did not know her name. If he went looking for me in the Starport registry he wouldn’t find me.

I styled the ship into the holding area and then winced as the automated docking clamps seized her roughly, hauling her into the resting cradle. It was a good job I didn’t mind some scratches and dents because I was pretty sure after this there would be some more. I listened and waited while the dock side umbilicals attached and began feeding the ship power, air and water as well as extracting the waste. I plugged my cred-chip into the onboard and paid for two week’s worth of dock fees up front. Payment up front meant I and my ship would be left alone. I would slip the dock master in charge of my sector a bribe later on, just to make sure I was not harassed and my ship was not touched. As I undid my harness straps I sighed, this was a homecoming of sorts but it didn’t bring much joy.

Two hours later, after arranging for fuel and supplies, doing a thorough run through of my ship and adding some additional security in case the bribes I had given the dock master were not quite enough, I sat at the galley table with a cup of tea in hand and a holo map of the area I was in.

The Corellian Sector was one of the largest and most populated on Nar Shadda. It was my hope that even if Jyrki was watching star ports the sheer volume of traffic would make it difficult to spot me. I was pretty sure that Jyrki did not know what my ship actually looked like and even if he did, in the large star port docking bay it would be fairly hard to find.

I had debated whether or not to disguise myself with my Dantassi clothing but while wearing the mask would make me anonymous it would not make me invisible. The Bone Traders were a curiosity even here and dressed as one I would be noticed. It was easier to dress in non-descript clothing as the trader I was pretending to be and blend in with the rest of the crowds rather than stand out and be remembered. When I left my ship to go exploring it was the stench and heat of the air that hit me first. I had forgotten that as well, after the clean air on both Hjal and Nirauan, the air here tasted thick and foul. Nar Shadda was a filthy place in more ways than one.

The crush of beings walking along the concourses was almost overwhelming. I had forgotten what it felt like to be in such crowded places full of alien beings, bounty hunters, smugglers and criminals of all sorts. Moving through the crowds was a little like dancing and once I had found the rhythm of it I made my way to The Burning Deck to scope it out. I had plenty of time before the meet with Jyrki and I wanted to be ready for anything he had to throw at me even though I knew that would not be the case. He had my family, at least he had my father and that already made it personal and difficult. My gut boiled with anger just thinking about it.

The Burning Deck was surprisingly busy and as I made my way through the dimly lit main room I was glad I had not worn my Dantassi gear. It would have been insanely warm in the stuffy cantina and people would have stared, as it was I attracted little to no attention, or so I thought, as I pushed my way to the bar. As I was about to order a drink a gruff male voice interrupted.

“Not seen you in here before.”

I didn’t look at the owner of the voice. “That’s because I haven’t been here in a while.” I said with just enough intonation to let the man standing behind me know I wasn’t interested. He didn’t get the message.

“So, what’ll you have, little lady?”

I looked up to see the rough face of a man I didn’t recognise and the undisguised leer in his eyes told me everything I needed to know. “I’m fine, thanks” I said politely, flagging the bar-droid over.

“Didn’t ask you how you were, asked you what you wanted to drink.”

I sighed and turned around to face him again. “Right, my mistake. I was planning on having a stim’caf , not that it is any of your business.”

His expression turned dark. “That’s not very polite. I was just offering to buy you a drink.”

“Again, kind of you but unnecessary I have enough creds to purchase my own.” I shifted slightly to move away from his presence which had somehow managed to become annoyingly close to my body. He needed a shower in the worst way.

“You know, a slip of a girl like you could get hurt in a place like this.” His voice was a low growl.

I nodded with an expression of feigned boredom. “So I’ve been told.” I said and went to move to a different spot altogether but instead of allowing me to leave he grabbed my arm.

“Let go.” I spoke quietly. If he had been smart he would have picked from my voice as well as the look in my eyes just how close he was to dying. Over the years I had been grabbed and man-handled more times than I cared to mention and I wasn’t about to take it with a smile any more.

“I think you’ll have that drink with me and then maybe I’ll show you my ship.” He said firmly as though I didn’t have any choice in the matter, “You look like a girl who enjoys seeing the inside of ships lying down.”

It took me two simple moves to put him on the ground, with the third one I hurt him. I crouched by his side as he doubled up in agony and whispered in his ear. “Do I still look like a girl who could get hurt in this place or do I look like a girl who could hurt you in this place? Do yourself a favour, flyboy and leave us strange girls alone. You don’t know where we’ve been or what we’ve been taught to do to desperate, pathetic men like you.”

He nodded his head, rendered speechless by pain and I moved away to a different spot at the bar to order my drink. A few of the patrons close enough to see what had happened shook their heads and whispered to themselves but in a place like this, that had been a mild discussion and the fact that no blasters had been drawn was disappointing. Everyone loved a good fight, even if it had them diving for cover under the tables. I had not wanted to draw attention to myself so I had dealt with my new friend as quickly and as quietly as I knew how. There were a couple of bounty hunters in the shadows who had watched the scene with marked interest and one of them had given me the nice job nod. I paid for my stim’caf and made my way to the upper gallery, found a shaded table with a good view of the whole floor and sat down to think and observe.

Even as a child I had loved to watch people and growing up in a place like Mos Eisley had been perfect for that, even better was working at a docking bay. I had long understood that I was different and that I sometimes saw things about people and beings other did not but I had never really known why and simply accepted the fact. Now, after my years of working for the Empire and being trained in some of the ways of the force, the Bunduki arts and Jhal’kai I saw just how much I had leaned. It was eerie in some ways, like watching a strange dance whose choreography was constantly being changed and reconfigured all the while the dance was ongoing.

Most people assume that everything is random but that is never really the case. There are patterns all over the place, even in crowds full of strangers there are patterns. As I observed the cantina I began to notice some of these reoccurring patterns, I could tell who was a stranger in town, and maybe first time to the cantina itself, I could point out the regulars who had their niche carved out and their piece of cantina territory claimed. It was easy to spot the smugglers and the legitimate traders, just as it was easy to pick out the bounty hunters look for their mark or waiting on a deal. Little things gave people away, my father had taught me. Gamblers called it a tell he had said. At the time, as a child listening to my father speak of these things I had just thought him clever but now I understood that as a smuggler himself he needed to be able to read people, read crowds and situations in order to save his own hide from being caught.

I saw him before he noticed that he had been made. Subtle and sly he was good at his job but the strange tingle that rippled down the back of my neck said that his feigned indifference was a ruse and that he was on guard, as it were and waiting, watching for me. I was not here for playing games and tired of the messing around. This was one of Jyrki’s men, I was sure of it but I wanted to be one hundred percent sure and it was time to get the show on the road. When our eyes met, for split second he understood and made no pretence about why he was there, instead he got up from his chair in a lazy, beguiling manner and made his way through the crowd, up the side wall stairs to join me at my table. I didn’t know who he was but I didn’t have to.

“You’re on Nar Shadda early, Miss Gabriel.” He said conversationally, signally one of the floating droids for a refill on both our drinks.

“And you have me at a disadvantage, while you seem to know who I am I have no idea who you are.”

His smile was thin. “You may call me Lorano Dek.”

“And you’re keeping tabs on me because…?” I asked.

“Because I was paid to do so.” He replied.

I nodded. It had crossed my mind that maybe Jyrki would pull something like this but I had hoped for a day or two without a watchdog. “Well now you see me.” I said. “I was in the neighbourhood and didn’t feel like hanging around in space waiting for the due date. So get to the point. ”

“We have a mutual acquaintance, Miss Gabriel, he is anxious to meet with you.” He toyed with his drink, I didn’t touch mine.

“Mr. Andando is the one who set the meeting date, Mr. Dek, why should he be anxious?”

“He was not sure you would come.”

I gave the thick set man a small nod. “Well, he has something of mine I would appreciate being returned…unharmed.”

“He would be willing to see you now to discuss the terms of reimbursement.” He said letting me know that he had contacted Jyrki the moment I had been seen entering the cantina. At least I thought, this meant they had not found my ship or figured out which port I had entered in from. I had not felt as though I had been followed prior to entering the cantina.

I shook my head. “No, I don’t think so. I’m tired from my trip and I need to find a hotel to stay in.” Implying that I had not come in a ship of my own.

That caught the mercenary’s attention. “As you pointed out he has something belonging to you.” He said pointedly. He had not expected me to refuse him flatly and I wondered what Jyrki had told this man about me.

I nodded and shrugged. “So he does but I would not be here if I did not also have something he wants. So we will meet on my terms. If he is disagreeable to this then tell him the deal is off.” What ever it was that Jyrki wanted from me he had wanted it badly enough to go after my family which had meant risking a lot, if not everything. I wasn’t sure where Uncle Vahlek fit into all of this but I was damned sure it wasn’t good. I was, as Thrawn would say, stalling for time, though I wasn’t exactly sure why. It was a gamble and I was hoping that whatever it was Jyrki wanted or needed from me it would be enough to make sure the cards were stacked in my favour, which would be a first.

Lorano Dek nodded slowly, “Would you be amenable to meeting Mr. Andando here tomorrow at the same time?”

I nodded. “I can agree to that” I said then added, “Only next time keep your friends out of my face.” I said, nodding to the man who had offered to buy me a drink earlier.

Dek laughed. “Him? He’s not one of mine. Herden is exactly what he appears to be, Miss Gabriel, a down and out spacer. I didn’t bring any friends with me, I was told that would be unnecessary with you although after that lovely little performance I can see that Mr. Andando did not over estimate your ability to bite.”

I regarded the square jawed man who sat opposite me and inclined my head slightly at his compliment. “Then it’s a date Mr.Dek. Please tell your employer not to try anything funny.”

“I’ll be sure to pass along the message.” He got up from the table with all the languid grace of a gurreck and I understood that this was his way of letting me know he would not be so easy to put down as the spacer named Herden. I stayed seated and watching him leave, waiting until I could not see him any more before I took my leave of the bar.

The main concourse was crowded but even so I knew I was being followed. I wasn’t sure who it was and I wasn’t about to take any chances or let them know I was aware of their presence so I led them on a merry dance all over the sector until I came to small but fairly decent looking hotel. I did not want to lead whoever was dogging me to my ship especially if it was one of Jyrki’s people. While I had learned a few things since Jyrki’s tutelage he was still the man who had pretty much taught me everything I knew about ships and ship security. I did not want him playing with mine.

Once I had checked in and paid for a room, I went back out to do a little shopping again I had the sensation of being watched and hoped that who ever it was that was tailing me was enjoying the show because I was shopping for some clothes, some snacks and general hygiene products like a new toothbrush and shampoo. Once I was done with shopping, I returned to the hotel, dumped all my stuff and went down to the reception to ask about local food delivery services. I was in the mood for something hot and spicy. The petite Rodian at the reception desk gave me her recommendations and I went back up to my room to order food and pass the time watching the holonet.

As I lay in bed much later I tried to run through every possible scenario that could happen. I would have been lying if I had said that the prospect of meeting with Jyrki didn’t scare me because it did. My fingers grazed my neck looking for the necklace that Thrawn had given me but it wasn’t there. I had taken it off before I had left Nirauan and left it on my bedside table. I knew Thrawn would see it and I hoped that he would understand that I planned on coming back to claim it. That I planned on coming back to him and not ending up in a bacta tank, losing the precious pendant due to someone taking it off and not giving it back to me. He had kept it safe for me before and I hoped that would be the case now.

It was a strange bed in a strange place and sleep did not come quickly. I lay half awake for a long time with images of the past, present and possible future running through my mind. When I finally did drift off to sleep it was full of vivid nightmares which lingered long after I had awoken early in the cold dawn reaching for a man who was thousands of light years away, weeping without fully knowing why.

For a long time I simply lay in the bed, staring up at the ceiling wondering what the hell I had done in coming all the way out here alone to confront someone I no longer really knew or understood. When I could lie there no longer I heaved myself out of the bed, showered and went to get some breakfast. There was no point in meeting with Jyrki on an empty stomach; it only made me grouchy which made negotiating difficult. As I sat in the hotel’s dingy breakfast room cradling a cup of the worst stim’caf I had tasted in ages I wondered what the meeting would bring. Things were slowly building to a head and it was like watching a very bad speeder accident happening in slow motion. I could not more stop it than I could turn away from watching it.

I had hoped to begin a new life on Nirauan, to put my past behind me but Jyrki seemed determined not to allow me that. Like a bad dream he kept coming back to haunt me. Unfinished business a friend had once said, it comes back when you least expect it. This, I thought morosely as I sat staring into space, was one strange little love story that while it might have begun sweetly enough, was going to have a very bad ending.