This is a trilogy set in the Imperial world of Star Wars. Books 1,2, and 3 are listed on the side bar as PDF, epub and mobi formats. There are also extras. THERE SHALL BE NO STEALING OF THE BOOKS AND REPOSTING THEM FOR DOWNLOAD ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE INTERNET!


The Things We Leave Behind 1

Thrawn came and went like a tusken in the night. His infrequent returns to the base were cloaked in secrecy and terse conversation. He spent most of his time wrapped up in meetings or down in the subbasement on his projects that he refused to speak about. When we managed to share some time together it wasn’t enough.

“I’m sorry, tekari. I know this is difficult to you.” He said as I rested my forehead against his chest. His hands were warm on the back of my neck as he stroked me.

With a sigh I broke away from him and poured more brandy in my glass. “It is difficult but what’s even more difficult is your attitude.” I said as I took a generous sip of my drink. “Last time you were here you barely said two words to me and this time you can’t wait to...”

“The last time I was here I had much on my mind.” Thrawn interrupted.

“The last time you were here you barely wanted to touch me.” I snapped, annoyed. “You said I distracted you from your mission, that you needed space and time to think! When I asked you to come to bed you pulled away from me as though I were a dirty rebel and you were not wearing your bracelet, the one Navaari made for you.”

Thrawn’s lips tightened slightly and then he drew a deep breath. “I can continue to apologise to you for my behaviour and you can accept that there will be times when this campaign has to take precedence and I will be distant or we can continue to fight and waste what little time we have together.”

I heaved an overly dramatic sigh. “Do you have to be so standoffish when you’re busy? It feels like you try to shut me out completely.”

“It is a little more than just busy, my dear.” He said, “And I have to make sure that I have my mind completely focused on the job at hand. Do you want me to fail? Those dreams of yours, you want them to come true?”

“My dreams? What do they have to do with you being a...an arrogant bastard.”

“I told you I have a plan and that you need to trust me. If that means there are times when I am distant and cold then that is how it must be.” He shrugged out of his uniform jacket and pushed up the sleeve of his undershirt so that I could see the sheen of the metal band around his wrist. I reached out and traced the warm metal with the tips of my fingers.

He nodded slightly, “You should know by now that my feelings for you run deeper than words can express. You really need to learn to trust me. I have this well in hand and these pockets of time we have together will be rare after this night so, really, do you want to fight or do you want to come to bed with me and remind me of what I shall sorely miss while I am off saving the galaxy from itself?”

“So last time was just an act?”

He regarded me for a moment then pulled off this shirt completely. “The last time I was on this base there was a great deal of work to be done.” He took a step towards me. “The last time I was on this base I was dealing with a highly delicate matter concerning the cloning project and as I have asked you to keep your distance from this project you can understand my behaviour.”

“You’re hiding something.” I said, standing my ground as he closed the distance between us.

His smile was sly and feral. “My dear, I am always hiding something that is the nature of my work. Now enough of this verbal fencing, stop wasting precious time in pointless argument and allow me to make up for one set of bad behaviour for another.”

I let him manoeuvre me to the bed. “And after tonight?”

He smirked. “I think I have found a way to keep you occupied.” He peeled off my dress starting with the shoulder straps.

“Wonderful.” I said making a face and then allowed him to make me forget why I was ticked off with him in favour of a more pleasant method of combat.

Much later after enough energy had been spent that I was too tired and too relaxed to fight with him I asked what he had in mind to keep me busy.

He shifted in the bed to lie on his side, his head propped up on his arm then said with a smile. “It will be a surprise.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You know how I feel about surprises. Out with it. What is going to keep me so busy I won’t have time to worry about you?”

“Not what who.”

My eyebrow arched in impatience. “Who then?”

“Larsen, Ged Larsen.” And then he smiled because he had just rendered me utterly speechless.


  1. Okay-dokey.

    Best of luck for everything. Warm sunbeams are like hugs from nature. Have at least one snooze in them.


  2. Don't worry I'll still be hear when you get back!

  3. Whoo-Ho! Working is good! One word a day is good.

    Maybe next week two words.

    *dancing* Hugs!

  4. Hi! I just recently stumbled across your DOTE series and I love, love, LOVE it! Wonderful job, thanks for the fantastic read! Please keep at it if you can! Brilliant stuff.

  5. But, this is Merly's life! I am quite sure that sometimes she would rather it be dull and boring with less tramatic events...but apparently, the Force has her on the 'bug whenever possible' list.

  6. Dear all,

    Tatooine is quiet and peaceful. Much needed though do not tell anyone I said that. It's been a rough patch of time as I am sure some of you know and I am glad to have some time away from the war, so to speak.

    Don't worry everything is going well, at least as far as I know. I'm sure if there were bad news I would have heard about it by now.

    In the meantime I am doing exactly what I was told for a change and taking some well deserved time out to recover.

    Be well


  7. Happy to see you back after so many months. but a bit worried concerning Thrawn. Hope you will get good news and that he will come back to you. Ann'So

  8. Thrawn owes it to you and you owe it to yourself- you both have to be honest about your relationship. If he hasn't got time for you- well there is nothing else to say is there.
    And a guy not wanting to have sex??? Ok he's not human but by human standards something is NOT right.

  9. I agree with msvda. He is hiding something, and the little slivers of lies are not helping you at all. I realize he is still grieving, but a lot of marriages fall apart because of what he is doing. You need to sit that Chiss down and get to the (somewhat) bottom of things. If not, this could spiral well past what should be, or what either of you wants.

    Remember, you nailed it after Endor's recovery: he's a million miles away sulking. You don't have time to let him stew for months on end. Perhaps Voss or Syal could lend a hand in telling you what is going on?

    *hugs and a warm shoulder* It's great to see you again. Give the Jaxes a hug from me, too, k?


  10. Oh, and one other thing... who were you beating up in sparing to get two cracked ribs? I know who you may want to be ... but owie!

    *careful hugs* S.

  11. Will you send us some (good) news before Christmas?

  12. I hope so. But certain people are being difficult. Le sigh.

  13. Hmm. Trouble??? Glad to have you back!!

  14. yeepee!!!! I almost cried of joy seeing that you were back. Happy that it seems to go better with Thrawn, although he does have funny ideas on how to keep you busy. What abput finding a way to have a baby safely instead? Meanwhile thanks for the Christmas surprise.

  15. Pureblood Slytherins3 January 2011 at 10:44

    I read the whole series in a week and I LOVE it!!!! I have to admit that I love Ged Larson too, so I'm more than happy that he's returning. Please write more soon!